No worries! Anything I could help 🙂
I think the best way to go about this is to try swatching (i’m sure you’ve heard this before but for those who haven’t, it is where you test-knit a square to see what the particular needle/yarn combo will look like, before you start the project. It is advised to wash and dry these squares to see how the yarn acts after washing, and see if there are any shrinking or stretching that you should expect) with different needles.
Since every yarn acts differently even when kitted with same size needle (same the other way around too, same yarn could give different results with different needles of same size depending on the material etc), generally you’re suppose to do this ‘gauge swatching’ every time you knit anything and especially when you use a handspun yarn, but I’m lazy so I don’t do it all the time. And yes, I have regretted many times too XD but once you find your ‘Ok, I need to go x size down for ribbing and y size larger for other stuf’, you’d have a better idea of what needles you should try first 🙂
Also strictly speaking, your tightness/looseness goes through constant changes since even mood effects gauges, but once you block the finished project, the difference is small enough you won’t notice 🙂
Hope this helps!